Your New Home for the Holidays is Where Family Comes Togetherby Emily on December 2nd, 2016
You’ve moved into a brand-new Taylor Morrison home in a spectacular 55-plus community, with all the trimmings. You have a wonderful new daughter-in-law and want to find the right balance in your relationship with her, being mindful of when not to overstep. And because you want to show off that new home, you are hosting Thanksgiving this year. You want to put your best foot forward, and you’ve asked your daughter-in-law for her help.
Although you have your own way of planning holiday festivities, decorating and planning the menu, you also want to ensure to include your son’s new wife. Without making her feel awkward or funny, you definitely want to start on the right foot.
Say No to Holiday Turmoil
When children get married and families grow, often there is the question of who will host the holiday dinner? Who will attend which side of the family’s festivities? Do you split the holidays? Do you invite your daughter-in-law’s parents and siblings? It could go on and on, and it can get messy. Some family members feel left out and feelings get hurt.
Remember that when children marry and eventually have their own families it is practically impossible to please everyone. You could rent out a huge banquet hall and invite every in-law in the land, but that would be unreasonable, very expensive and a madhouse. There’s not enough ibuprofen in the world to fix that headache.
The best way to accommodate everyone and their feelings is to:
- Be open to suggestions
- Don’t get angry if you don’t get to see your children every holiday
- Offer up some alternatives
- Realize your children’s spouses have parents, too
- You’ll get over it
Make Her Feel at Home
Your daughter-in-law may feel nervous this first holiday. She is away from her own parents and she wants to impress you. Work together, be open and welcoming of her ideas and suggestions for cooking the meal. Ask her ahead of time to bring a dish or two and then later ask for those recipes. Show her gratitude and be complimentary. Give her enough guidance without being pushy, know your boundaries and don’t overstep.
She’s your son’s new wife and she’s part of the family now. Your son will appreciate the time you took to nurture the relationship.
Whatever you do, make sure you are understanding when your son and his new wife have to be at her parents’ home for the next holiday. It’s all give and take, and just because you’ve done it a certain way for years doesn’t mean that you can’t change it up a bit in the future. According to Kitchn, there’s so many ways to cope from celebrating holidays on different days to accommodate family and creating new traditions to trying to be fair to all. In the end, every situation can have a silver lining. So eat, drink and show off that new home.